How consumerism stole my Christmas

Caveat: My family and friends (even the grandparents) are generally good at curbing consumerism. If you are someone who gave us a present, we are not blaming you for stealing our Christmas. Overall we had a lovely Christmas. This is just a rant about over consumption in general.

Remember the anticipation that Christmas brought when you were a child? Counting the days until Santa came, thinking about what gift you wanted him to bring, and the delight on Christmas morning when you saw that he had eaten the cookies and finished the milk? That’s the type of Christmas I wish for my children. But this year it was an uphill battle and I blame consumerism for hijacking Christmas and holding Santa hostage.

Our preschooler is old enough to understand Santa, but young enough to believe in magic, so we were very excited about Christmas this year. However, he had a few questions. Why Santa is everywhere (parties, malls, street corners), when he’s supposed to be in the North Pole preparing? It is a reasonable question. We fielded that by saying that these are Santa’s helpers. But why do Santa’s helpers hand out gifts (that were not asked for, or needed) before Christmas has arrived? No matter what we answer, this kills the anticipation for Christmas morning. Why does Santa bring so many gifts to family gatherings? The overwhelming amount of gifts means that time, which used to be spent talking to each other and playing with the kids, is now spent opening presents. There were so many gifts that even the adults were overwhelmed. Then, after we tackled the mountain of presents from Santa, we parents made the mistake of opening each present in front of the person who gave it. Despite good intentions, that was a bad move. Our poor preschooler was completely overwhelmed. He seemed happy as he tried to play with everything he was given, but by the end of the day his attention had been pulled in so many directions that he was frantic. He was up the whole night with night terrors (very scary for him and us) and had tantrums from exhaustion the next day as well. Luckily the baby slept through most of it. Where are the days when kids played happily all day (and for days after) with the one or two gifts that they asked for?

Most troubling is the fact that I know I am not the only one drowning in stuff. I also know that manufacturing and shipping it all uses huge amounts of energy and resources, which we humans are quickly depleting. My kids don’t need a mountain of toys; they need a habitable planet to inherit in the future!

You can call me Grinch and you can call me Scrooge, but next year we are laying down some rules. First - one gift per child. This sounds Draconian, but with so many people insisting on giving us presents, the kids will still get a small mountain of stuff. Second, grandparents are entitled to request an extra gift from Santa, but that needs to be delivered to our house. Third, if the kids show any sign of over-stimulation after opening a few gifts, then the remainder of the presents will be opened, a few at a time, over a period of days. Finally, we adults need to communicate with one another about gifts for the kids ahead of time. Hopefully next Christmas will be less overwhelming and instead of a mountain of presents, we’ll have a roomful of adults who are truly present - there for the kids.

Year in Review 2010

I hope 2010 has treated you well. For us it has been a busy and happy year. Here is my annual “year in review” to summarize memories and to keep you up to date.

Personally, the highlight of the year was the birth of our second child, who arrived, much to our delight, in our home. He is a wonderful addition to our family! We remain very happy living in the heart of a big city where we can walk or bike everywhere. This year we took the kids to many holiday events within walking distance of our home and attended many of our co-op’s social events. As our eldest son grows, we enjoy these events more and more. Halloween, the children’s holiday party and the building of the gingerbread village were favorites. Our preschooler is thriving in day care and is already learning how to write his name and the letters of the alphabet. Hubby and I have spent another year watching our older miracle grow, and we look forward to ongoing joys with the new baby, and the interaction between the two boys.

Professionally, I continue work as a post-doctoral researcher and have had the pleasure of working with great people who helped immensely in the lab while I was pregnant and also made it possible to engage in an exciting side project involving fieldwork in the USA and exciting new lab techniques. Hopefully we’ll be able to continue that research in 2011. The location of my lab also gives me practical perks like onsite yoga and biking to work, both of which I continued to do until a couple weeks before the birth of the baby. Hubby continues to pursue self-employment endeavors in music and sound design, and is also exploring other options, which may provide more stable work. With two kids, we can’t give up on the dream that one of us should have health benefits!

It has also been a year full of travel. Last winter I visited Seattle for a conference and then went to the Netherlands to see a close friend defend her thesis. A month later the whole family went to the tropics to visit the “abuelos”, and in the middle of that vacation I flew to a conference in San Diego to give an invited lecture. Over the summer we did several family trips to wilderness parks close to home. Then in August (in my third trimester), I flew to Brazil to attend a conference and spent a few days in Sao Paulo. The trip was aided by an easy pregnancy that allowed much walking around and even some hiking through spectacular Araucaria forests!

We are very happy with the blend of personal and professional experiences we’ve enjoyed in 2010. Next year will bring job and grant applications for both of us. We know that our next career steps will be time and labor intensive, but we hope to preserve our home life balance. For my part, I believe the balance makes me a better mother and a better scientist!

Happy holidays and all the best for 2011!