Culture and all that

Originally emailed as an email chronicle November 17, 2004

Recently I’ve been involved in a lively email discussion with friends about the joys and stumbling blocks of moving to a new country. Although I have relocated before (to Panama) that move was benign compared to moving to the Netherlands. There are several reasons for that, most notably that in Panama I had a local (Hubby) to show me the ropes, whereas in the Netherlands Hubby and I drifted for a long time before finding something to hold onto.
My recent discussions have centred on assumptions that expatriates make when they move to a different country. For example that the Netherlands is a laid back and tolerant place, or that people from Canada are polite and friendly. A wise friend of mine pointed out that these assumptions often lead to disappointment as a place (with all of its diverse characters) can never live up to a simple stereotype and thus expats feel as if they have been lied to.
Hubby and I have been disappointment and surprised by many things since moving to the Netherlands. For example, we had always heard that the Dutch had an excellent health care system, but here not even the basics are covered and even citizens must purchase health insurance. European funding of graduate students is another debateable point. Many have heard that students are paid well in Europe. It is true that school is considered more like a job here and that tuitions are lower, however, many undergraduate students still work at outside jobs to stay alive and graduate students are still asked in their interviews how they intend to pay for themselves (i.e. salary) and their research. What comes out is usually a balance much like in North America where some costs are covered by the supervisor’s grants and other costs by grants to the student and scholarships. Even graduate students sometimes work other jobs to make ends meet. Recycling is another issue. For years we had heard that the Dutch have one of the best recycling programs on the planet and yet in Toronto, in the USA and in Germany many more things are recycled than where we are living in the Netherlands (I cannot speak for the cities in the south).
Some things however, have lived up to reputation. The weather for example really is horrendous, people are very blunt and workers take more vacation and sick days than anywhere else I have ever been. Of course these things are not always pleasant. The bluntness takes some getting used to. Here are a few examples, a blond friend of mine asked for help with a new printing machine and was told that the reason she couldn’t figure it out was the colour of her hair. I was told that lab work is repetitive “stupid work” and thus I should like it. I still question whether these comments were made innocently or maliciously. The bluntness goes beyond interpersonal interactions, for example inner city schools in Amsterdam or Rotterdam with more than 50% foreigners are called “Zwarte Scholen” (literally black schools) even on television and Moroccans are often referred to as “those people” who don’t integrate well. Extensive vacations, short working hours and lots of “sick days” are also annoying, for example Hubby’s immigration papers were held up three months over the summer because of vacations. This wrecked havoc with our Canadian visa application (we still don’t know if Hubby can come for Christmas or not). However, another wise friend of mine pointed out that the vacations are not the root of the problem, but rather agencies are probably understaffed and can not compensate when people go on vacation.
I have also come to the conclusion that a lot of the “culture shock” that Hubby and I experienced comes from the fact that we are both city people and we have moved to a small town. Although small city in the north is only 2.5 hours from Amsterdam, to me there is a world of difference. Some of you will remember that I didn’t even like Hamilton (1.5 hours from Toronto with over 300,000 inhabitants), a much bigger city than small city in the north. Aesthetically, this town/city is a nice place with quaint streets and “cute” Dutch architecture, but I long for the diversity, the extremes of the city. I long for simultaneous connectedness and anonymity. I long for the feeling of being alone in a crowd (which is different from feeling alone and excluded from a social circle). I am quite sure that if Hubby and I lived in Amsterdam we would have integrated faster.
None of what I have said is meant as an attack on Dutch people or their culture. I am sure that many of you can describe similar disappointments and surprises moving to Toronto, or Panama, or Hong Kong. Things are different in different places and the world would be a boring place otherwise. This is just an examination (inspired by my recent email discussions) of what it is like to move to a new place (without a personal guide who you subsequently marry :-) ).